Roll Out!

Why did yall get me started with these things?

My relationship with these shates(shoe skates), is bittersweet.

I want to trip a kid when I see them kick that lil foot out in the front and roll out. However, I WANT A PAIR! WTF! Do these come in a size 10? I would be unstoppable!

I can see it now, somebody'll walk up to me talking that ish and I kick push on they ass! Fortunately, none of my nephews or neices have a pair, cuz I would playa hated on them a LONG time ago! Hide their ish and try 'em on when they're not looking. Damn shame....

Why would you buy this for your kid?

My List of things to do before I die...

***In no particular order ***

1. Slap a crying kid not related to me.

• If I hear one more whining a** toddler.....

2. Trip a little kid running anywhere running is not allowed.

• Church, libraries, grocery stores and malls.

3. Roll over the foot of a person in a wheelchair, just to see what that do.

• Not regular handicapped people, I mean the MFs who are in wheelchairs and scoot down the street. WTF! You ain't getting no change outta me if I know your (dis) ABLED a** can scoot.

4. Walk up behind an unsuspecting stranger and yell as loud as I can "MOOOOOOVVVEEEEE!"

5. Snatch off anyone's wig and run like HELL. Try to catch me Biotch!

My Life on the D-List

Kathy Griffin- WATCH OUT!

I've got to be the black Kathy Griffin- but way more fresher, wit a lot less effort! I went to the Indiana WACK Expo in Indianapolis Saturday and I'm sad that I'll never get those hours of my life back. The actual "Expo" was the worst part. It was like every elemetary and high school gave out free tickets to the expo and told anyone who wanted to go to meet at the school at 8:00 am for a free ride up there. They should rename that town Rainbow Central, Indiana. If I see one more plastic necklace, bracelet or earring I'm going to JUMP! So many colors all jumbled up together on one body!

That's not even the killer, EVERY girl under the age of 23 had at LEAST 4 styles on one head. A swoop, twistie in the back going into the spiral curled, mohawk! UGH! Overload must have been omitted from the Indiana State Dictionary.

We also attended a Fashion Show hosted by Eva. We saw her on the elevator and she was FIERCE honey! Real cute until...... she played my friend. LMAO! My girls were pulling out their cameras getting that ish ready(while we were still on the elevator) when Eva turned around and was like:
" Are you guys going to the fashion show?"
"Yeah!"
"Ok, well, I'll take a picture with you there"

LMAO! I was rolling. Eva styled on us real quick! Knowing damn well she wasn't taking no pictures at no fashion show! LMAO.. And my one girl was heated. I tried to calm her down by telling her that maybe it's in her contract that she can only take pics at the events. No luck- she was still salty.

Despite all of the daytime wackness, we went to a party at the Convention Center and it actually wasn't that bad. The DJ was from my FABULOUS city and he represented. This leads me to my Kathy Griffin status. While my friends and I were in VIP, we mingled with the C-List stars and took a few pics. They were cool peeps, but the main thing that made them C-List is the fact that you only know who they are by the roles they played. For example, we saw "The twins mama from ATL, you know, Tyra's best friend" and " The bald headed daddy from Soul Food, you know, the one that was trying to talk to Maya on Girlfriends", and "We-bay from The Wire...oh.... you don't watch The Wire like that?....He be in videos too though" and an easier one " Niecey from Moesha". Of course the BET people were sprinikled in, including the cutie Terrance sans Rocsi (thank God!)

Don't get me wrong, it was great to hang with my girls and get away for a sec, but I'm cool on INDY.

The moral of the story is: " They don't call it NAP-Town for nothin'..."

Monday Morning Vodka

It's Summertime at a University. It's Monday. It's just slow. After checking my email and my fave blogs, I checked my MySpace account. I did the usual, ya know, checked out my friends, new comments, pics etc. I was just minding my own damn business when I got my Monday Morning shot of Vodka. All I'm saying is, if you know you "don't photograph well" do NOT set THAT ONE as your profile pic, please. I do NOT need that kick in the chest on a big Monday. Save that Fugly ish for a Wednesday, so I can have something to laugh at the rest of the week. LOL..

~Jesus Take the Wheel...~

...And so it begins

Today at lunch, I went to a Mexican restaurant near my job to have a quick bite. I was really enjoying my Taco combo- mixing the beans with the rice and secretly smiling when the rice sticks to the beans (..crazy?). That's when it happened!

A MF fruit fly or some other type of insecty, flying thing was in my styrofoam box! B***H! It wasn't actually on or in my food, but I was SO done. I took that damn box up to the register so fast, my Nike's were smoking! I unintentionally shoved the box in the cashier's face so she could see that little insect getting cozy with my refried beans. She mumbled something in Spanish and handed the box to her manager.

He came around the counter and WHISPERED to me " Thez is a varut fly! " I said "FRUIT FLY?", "Yes, I can give you a credit for thez". I musta looked at him like he was stupid. I said "No, thanks, I WON'T be back!". Do I look like I wanna eat insects for free?

The moral of the story is: " Everything black, in a shell ain't beef honey! "

Welcome!

Hey! This is my 1st blog ever written- EVER!



Before now, I thought I didn't really have anything worth writing about, until I realized I was constantly laughing at myself and people in this city. I doubt if this blog will ever REALLY have anything to do with being a sexy, savvy, urban girl, but who cares? Enjoy !